Serious comment and view. Please?
I sent you a letter,
Red and scented.
Of the green growing grass,
and the flowers in the vase.
Of the sparkling silver,
that shines the moving river.
Of the morning veils,
and blooming daffodils.
Of the calming blue,
that reminds me of you.
Of a walk in the woods,
and my leather boots.
Of the soft wind blowing,
that makes me want to sing.
Of the dance last night,
Under the bright moonlight.
PS: Wish you were here,
Its that time of the year,
I hope you get this,
Before the summer bliss.
Is the 'sent' and 'scented' internal rhyme deliberate? It's good.
I like the 'of the's I think it gives your poem structure. I like the rhyming mostly but I think the 'blue....you.. rhyme is horrible and cliched
I think you do not need the ps section at all - it's like suddenly being slapped out of the poem and they are horrible rhymes. End the poem with two lines that echo the first two lines in structure and rhythm.
It's actually quite good.
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